For the past month or so, fires that moved into New Mexico have consumed the skies of Albuquerque. Not to mention the lives, homes, land, and lifestyles of so many around the state. However it doesn’t surprise me, look around the world in the past few years and you will see similar stories, floods, hurricanes, earthquakes, drought, you name it.
Recently I was asked how I played in a summer league baseball game by a family friend. When I replied with a shrug of the shoulders and response of 2-4 (2 hits in 4 at bats) I got an excited/encouraging response, yet I didn’t feel satisfied at all. I quickly cut off the friend and informed him that I popped up a bunt and grounded out. It was a quick conversation where our friend couldn’t understand why I wasn’t happy about getting two hits, by baseball standards, hitting .500 is great. While the friend continued to assure me that was good and I continued to point out the negative that I did my dad, who was standing by, quiet this whole time decided to chime in. I don’t remember his exact words but he said something along the lines of this, “is it ever good enough?”
I understood his question and it was half jokingly that he asked and I honestly replied, “no”. I can’t remember the last time I left the baseball field 100% satisfied with my performance, there is always something I wanted to do differently, do better.
Lately, with the fires in NM I have had a thought on my mind. With all of the natural disasters and destruction I have earnestly asked myself the question and I am now voicing it (through a blog) to anyone reading. What if this is all leading towards the end, that the final days are coming, and that Jesus will return sooner than we think. What if this is hinting towards the return of Him? Scary, exciting, perplexing, whatever you want to call it or feel about it, feel free.
Here is the worst part: I’ve laid in bed a couple times that I can remember in the past month or so and asked myself these questions, in fear. Fear because I am typically the last one to go to bed in my house. As I’ve recapped my day, or the day before, I think about the things I’ve done; have I pleased God, or have I sinned? Have I been Christ in the flesh to someone or have I ruined my witness by my actions or words? My fear is this as I’ve laid there in fear thinking these things. There have been nights where I have laid on my bed and thought, “I’m going to wake up tomorrow, alone, because I’m a sinner, and lately, I’ve sinned and I am ashamed.”
Real quick so that you all don’t worry about Austin; yes I know God is forgiving and shows grace that I don’t deserve as long as I confess my sins. Got it. But asking forgiveness and falling at the Father’s feet means NOTHING if I wont COMPLETELY turn from the sins that I commit and fall to and run the opposite direction.
I don’t mean to strike fear into anyone but if that is what this is doing, welcome to the club!
As I’ve thought about this, feared this, I’m finding encouragement in the words my father said that night. He asked me if “it was good enough”, my performance on the baseball field. The answer is no, never will it be, that’s the nature of the game unfortunately. That’s the nature of life though folks, because we will NEVER be good enough for Christ, yet we are at the same time.
My challenge is never be “good enough”, at anything you do. Be the best, be the best for Him and for His glory so that at the end of the day, you lay there and wonder if the end is near (nearer than you think maybe), and you close your eyes knowing that today, you went all out, you did your absolute best, and that God thinks you did “good enough”. We’re human, so I can’t imagine He expects too much out of us honestly, he knows how filthy and pathetic we are, but that doesn’t mean He doesn’t expect us to do great things, be great, and pursue greatness. Maybe this blog was a lot packed into one.
I hope there was some encouragement in this for someone
"God I want to know You more, maybe this is how it starts"- Josh Wilson's Fall Apart
Much Love
