I’m going to be short and sweet tonight. Kind of on this emotional roller coaster with everything going on that seems to be hitting me at once. Making lists doesn’t help, trying to have a set schedule isn’t working, and relaxing and letting things happen is a struggle (those of you who know me, not surprising that I can’t cope with not being in control, I know)
Easter is this weekend, and I think of how I wish I was spending that time with my family back home. Going to church, having brunch, watching my little cousins easter egg hunt, getting an Easter basket from my mom and dad, the whole aspect of Easter I miss. Growing up is hard sometimes, but I’m ok with not being home.
We’ve all heard the Easter story at this point I’m sure so I wont give a full overview, but what has been on my heart lately, in more revealing ways than I have been able to admit and come to terms with, is this: Jesus died for my sins, your sins, the world’s sins. But here’s the thing that gets me, Jesus was FULLY COMMITTED to dying on the cross for people He didn’t know, for things that were not His fault, for things that are disgusting, shady, and evil. He was fully committed to His Father’s plan. Yes, He struggled with it and asked if there were any other was that the sin’s of the world could be forgiven and we could spend eternity in Heaven, but God’s plan was for Him to die. And He did, fully committed, 100%, all out.
Here is why I am so frustrated lately, get ready for this, I’m not 100% committed to that same Father in Heaven. Don’t freak out, I’m still a Christian and nothing has changed in that sense. C.S. Lewis wrote about Christianity almost 70 years ago, and he said that the word “Christian” would become loosely used if we weren’t careful. He meant that it would become labeling someone as a “good Christian” or “bad Christian” based on their most recent life. C.S. Lewis was a smart man, and that’s why he also said that that is a load of bull (not his words there, he’s more grammatically correct than I). He said that you’re either 100% or 0%. And lately, and often, I am 0% because I am not 100%. So tonight I write this because I am so sick and tired of being anything less than 100% for God and His kingdom. 99% isn’t good enough, hard for me to admit because I would love to get a 99% on just about anything. But it’s not enough to not leave everything I have in the one true hope, to not pursue Him as hard as I can, to not share Him as often as I can, to not meditate and pray about everything in my life, to trust wholeheartedly that He will take care of me no matter what!
Why would you give anything less than everything you have, Jesus did. Aren’t we called to be like Christ?
Challenge yourself to ask the question constantly, am I giving 100% to God?
Well, so much for being short and to the point, I tried!
Much Love
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Hear this
Recently I’ve been on this re-occurring thought of love and what that is really supposed to mean. It’s been on my mind through Kiefer, reading C.S. Lewis, Young Life recently, and Beltway. The combination is really challenging my thoughts and views of love and what that is supposed to mean, I think I have figured something out. Life is hard
No, I didn’t figure out that life is hard, I already knew that, you already knew that, we all know that. But here’s the thing, it’s not as hard as I make it, I’m the one making things so difficult and stressful on my own. I was sitting in Beltway two weeks ago and the message entitled “Zeal for God’s House”. The message was amazing, and a lot was covered but what stuck with me was this. Jesus wasn’t always nice, because we serve a jealous God, who loves us too much to make everything “easy” for us, a God who is too just to let our sinful ways as human beings be ok with Him and to smooth everything out for us. Just reminds me of Boy Meets World, “life’s tough, get a helmet”.
Here’s my point that I want to get to and may not be fully understood through this blog, that’s why you can contact me if you want/need. The God of the universe loves me so much and wants what is best for me so much, that He is jealous that I care so much about other things. Don’t misunderstand this, hang with me. I put A LOT into the role baseball plays in my life. People have asked me through numerous injuries, frustrations, etc, “why are you still playing?” My typical response: “I love it too much to stop playing”. Here is where I get put in check, if I love baseball that much, if I put that much into baseball, am I doing it the right way? By that I mean, am I playing baseball for God’s glory? Is the time I spend lifting, running, sweating, hitting, throwing, fielding, stretching, rehabbing, everything, is that time glorifying God? Most of the time I would say yes, but if things are hard with baseball, maybe I need to re-examine if God is really at the center of my baseball. Take this and put it to the test in other areas of your life, go ahead.
Unfortunately, I’m humbled by the fact that I truly believe that God wants me to love and pursue Him FAR MORE than I love and pursue baseball. That is where I have fallen extremely short. Yes, I give God glory for allowing me to play baseball, but if through everything I am not 100% committed to making Him the #1 through other things. I’ve failed and….. life will be hard, this isn’t just about baseball, you can look at any area where you are currently in a storm. I honestly believe that things in our life are hard because He is not truly at the center of them, that He is not being given 100%. He gives and He takes away, and He will get the glory no matter what. So why not allow Him to do it in a way that isn’t painful, stressful, and frustrating!
Alright, that’s all for now!
Much Love
No, I didn’t figure out that life is hard, I already knew that, you already knew that, we all know that. But here’s the thing, it’s not as hard as I make it, I’m the one making things so difficult and stressful on my own. I was sitting in Beltway two weeks ago and the message entitled “Zeal for God’s House”. The message was amazing, and a lot was covered but what stuck with me was this. Jesus wasn’t always nice, because we serve a jealous God, who loves us too much to make everything “easy” for us, a God who is too just to let our sinful ways as human beings be ok with Him and to smooth everything out for us. Just reminds me of Boy Meets World, “life’s tough, get a helmet”.
Here’s my point that I want to get to and may not be fully understood through this blog, that’s why you can contact me if you want/need. The God of the universe loves me so much and wants what is best for me so much, that He is jealous that I care so much about other things. Don’t misunderstand this, hang with me. I put A LOT into the role baseball plays in my life. People have asked me through numerous injuries, frustrations, etc, “why are you still playing?” My typical response: “I love it too much to stop playing”. Here is where I get put in check, if I love baseball that much, if I put that much into baseball, am I doing it the right way? By that I mean, am I playing baseball for God’s glory? Is the time I spend lifting, running, sweating, hitting, throwing, fielding, stretching, rehabbing, everything, is that time glorifying God? Most of the time I would say yes, but if things are hard with baseball, maybe I need to re-examine if God is really at the center of my baseball. Take this and put it to the test in other areas of your life, go ahead.
Unfortunately, I’m humbled by the fact that I truly believe that God wants me to love and pursue Him FAR MORE than I love and pursue baseball. That is where I have fallen extremely short. Yes, I give God glory for allowing me to play baseball, but if through everything I am not 100% committed to making Him the #1 through other things. I’ve failed and….. life will be hard, this isn’t just about baseball, you can look at any area where you are currently in a storm. I honestly believe that things in our life are hard because He is not truly at the center of them, that He is not being given 100%. He gives and He takes away, and He will get the glory no matter what. So why not allow Him to do it in a way that isn’t painful, stressful, and frustrating!
Alright, that’s all for now!
Much Love
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