I’m going to be short and sweet tonight. Kind of on this emotional roller coaster with everything going on that seems to be hitting me at once. Making lists doesn’t help, trying to have a set schedule isn’t working, and relaxing and letting things happen is a struggle (those of you who know me, not surprising that I can’t cope with not being in control, I know)
Easter is this weekend, and I think of how I wish I was spending that time with my family back home. Going to church, having brunch, watching my little cousins easter egg hunt, getting an Easter basket from my mom and dad, the whole aspect of Easter I miss. Growing up is hard sometimes, but I’m ok with not being home.
We’ve all heard the Easter story at this point I’m sure so I wont give a full overview, but what has been on my heart lately, in more revealing ways than I have been able to admit and come to terms with, is this: Jesus died for my sins, your sins, the world’s sins. But here’s the thing that gets me, Jesus was FULLY COMMITTED to dying on the cross for people He didn’t know, for things that were not His fault, for things that are disgusting, shady, and evil. He was fully committed to His Father’s plan. Yes, He struggled with it and asked if there were any other was that the sin’s of the world could be forgiven and we could spend eternity in Heaven, but God’s plan was for Him to die. And He did, fully committed, 100%, all out.
Here is why I am so frustrated lately, get ready for this, I’m not 100% committed to that same Father in Heaven. Don’t freak out, I’m still a Christian and nothing has changed in that sense. C.S. Lewis wrote about Christianity almost 70 years ago, and he said that the word “Christian” would become loosely used if we weren’t careful. He meant that it would become labeling someone as a “good Christian” or “bad Christian” based on their most recent life. C.S. Lewis was a smart man, and that’s why he also said that that is a load of bull (not his words there, he’s more grammatically correct than I). He said that you’re either 100% or 0%. And lately, and often, I am 0% because I am not 100%. So tonight I write this because I am so sick and tired of being anything less than 100% for God and His kingdom. 99% isn’t good enough, hard for me to admit because I would love to get a 99% on just about anything. But it’s not enough to not leave everything I have in the one true hope, to not pursue Him as hard as I can, to not share Him as often as I can, to not meditate and pray about everything in my life, to trust wholeheartedly that He will take care of me no matter what!
Why would you give anything less than everything you have, Jesus did. Aren’t we called to be like Christ?
Challenge yourself to ask the question constantly, am I giving 100% to God?
Well, so much for being short and to the point, I tried!
Much Love
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