Hey everyone, hope you guys are doing well and that life is blessing you in many ways. I hope that through reading this blog you are inspired to pursue Christ harder and deeper every day and if nothing else, you can just read it and maybe have a thought spark. It's not my goal to change lives through writing a blog, thats up to God because our relationships with Him are personal and only you can determine what you want that relationship to look like. I am lucky, I was born and raised with Christ at the center of my life, thats how I was taught, showed, and reminded daily to live my life. It wasn't shoved down my throat but it was put in front of me to make a choice, and at an early age I did. I had a relationship with Christ that I would consider pretty good, not too many worries or struggles, I didn't do bad things, I obeyed my parents, tried to sin as little as possible, and went to church, YL, church camps, Bible studies. Don't get me wrong, I didn't go to these things because I felt like it was the right thing to do because I was a Christian, I truly wanted to go to these things and have a relationship with God, and I did. Junior year created the first bump in my faith I think, and I didn't realize it at the time. I tore my shoulder at a baseball recruiting camp Christmas break when I was 16 years old. Since then my sports world was flipped upside down it seems, because from then on out the struggle seemed that much harder in many ways. Growing up I was small, I was young, and I wasn't as talented as other kids. This created a situation where I was playing a year up in every sport, I was the smallest on every team, and I had to work extra hard to even keep up with everyone else. I didn't mind it, still don't, I know God meant for it to be that way for me even though some times I heckle my parents for putting me at a disadvantage.
Since that injury junior year I have battled through a shoulder surgery, torn tissue in my knees, fractured back, another shoulder injury, concussions, the list goes on and on and don't feel sorry for me, really. Injuries happen to everyone, I know that, my body just has never been ready to handle the load that I have put on it since I was 16 and that is my own doing, so I now embrace that what happens is on my shoulders when it comes to keeping myself healthy.
Yet since that injury junior year, my relationship with Christ was changed, and not in a good way. Since then, through injuries, depth chart battles, and all of the fun that comes with competing at a high level of competition for a starting spot, I have questioned a lot of things. I'm ashamed to say that I questioned where God has been in the midst of that, I questioned whether He knew what He was doing or not. More often than not, I got frustrated with what was going on in my life and where I was supposed to find God in the midst of this frustration. Why would an almighty, perfect, compassionate God, put me through so much crap? I have spent numerous hours praying for answers, praying that He would reveal to me why He was allowing these things to happen to me. Usually it was along these lines, "God, I want to believe that you are doing something greater than what I see because you promise you have plans for me that perfect, but if that's the case, why do I have to suffer like this. Why do I have to be hurt to see your desires, why can't you just show them to me without the pain and frustration, why do I have to go through this again, I thought this was over." That is about word for word my plea to God to show me why!
This last Sunday in church a man talked over the book of Job. Job is a man who loves and fears God with all he had. God allowed Satan to test Job's faith in God, and Satan did, numerous times, yet Job NEVER let the Devil win. When nothing made sense to Job he still praised God and trusted that God would take care of him. Pretty awesome right? I thought so too, but just when I thought I knew the story of Job, this man took it step further. God doesn't owe us answers for what is going on in our lives, he doesnt. That hit me hard in church Sunday as I was crying during the last song of worship.
I have prayed so many times, plead with God to give me answers, to show me why, to do this or that so that I could have rest in what He was doing in my life. How pathetic am I! How sad is that! I have been questioning and demanding answers to a God who promised me a great life according to His purpose?! What a wretch am i, that i would think that the God of the universe should have to explain to me His plans. I was humbled, and I hope you are too, whoever is reading this, I hope that you realized like I have, that God doesn't owe us answers or explanations, because He already promised us a life greater than we can imagine. So thank you God, for watching out for me, for protecting me, even when I feel like you aren't protecting me you are right by my side, carrying me through the hard times and the good.
God Bless,
Austin
If you have prayer requests, please let me know how I can be praying for you, much love
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
Missed Opportunities
This post was partially inspired by the movie Toy Story 3 which I had the chance to go see with my family tonight. Not only did I get the chance to spend nearly 5 hours with just my amazing family, but I learned a HUGE lesson that I take for granted so often and I want to share some of my thoughts.
How many times do you hear or even say, I wish I could do that again, I would have done that differently if I could go back, I wish I had done this, I'd do it differently if I had the chance, etc? I feel like even if it is not verbalized, these thoughts of wishing for a second chance at something are everywhere in our lives. I say it in my head numerous times a day! So many times throughout the day I have the OPPORTUNITY to do something and it doesn't happen, sometimes I'm "too busy" "tired" "distracted" or flat out scared of taking a chance and seeing what happens. OR what has become my favorite excuse if you will is this, "I'll do it tomorrow." James 4:13-17 says, " Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what till happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.
Ok you may be wondering after you read that how in the world that applies to opportunities, quick explanation, then I'll wrap up to keep it short for those of you reading. So many times opportunities come up and we bypass them for the reasons I stated, most often, I'll do it tomorrow or later. We aren't promised tomorrow! Sad, yes, depressing, maybe, but how do we not look at that and say, I need to stop walking on eggshells and live such a bold and courageous life so that if I am not here tomorrow, the last day I lived was to the fullest extent that God intended?! It is blowing my mind that I live so timid and afraid to take opportunities, to step out of my comfort zone, to put my fears behind me, and just go for it. "God works for the good of those who love Him"! So why am I so scared to seize opportunities, or at least pursue them?! How selfish am I?
How selfish are we? Tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow?! Who says that we will have that opportunity tomorrow, or even an hour later?! He controls our fate, He knows what He is doing in our lives, and in that we should find comfort. In that, I should rest in stepping out of the boat and knowing I'll be more than fine. So what about you? Missed any opportunities lately? Had situations appear in your life that you may be timid about, walking on eggshells hoping for the best but expecting the worst? Me too, but we aren't alone, God is right there next to us, carrying us through it all, so why can't we trust that He will provide and work in our lives through opportunities that may seem scary or impossible. "All things are possible with Christ"
Much love
Prov. 3:5-6
How many times do you hear or even say, I wish I could do that again, I would have done that differently if I could go back, I wish I had done this, I'd do it differently if I had the chance, etc? I feel like even if it is not verbalized, these thoughts of wishing for a second chance at something are everywhere in our lives. I say it in my head numerous times a day! So many times throughout the day I have the OPPORTUNITY to do something and it doesn't happen, sometimes I'm "too busy" "tired" "distracted" or flat out scared of taking a chance and seeing what happens. OR what has become my favorite excuse if you will is this, "I'll do it tomorrow." James 4:13-17 says, " Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what till happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.
Ok you may be wondering after you read that how in the world that applies to opportunities, quick explanation, then I'll wrap up to keep it short for those of you reading. So many times opportunities come up and we bypass them for the reasons I stated, most often, I'll do it tomorrow or later. We aren't promised tomorrow! Sad, yes, depressing, maybe, but how do we not look at that and say, I need to stop walking on eggshells and live such a bold and courageous life so that if I am not here tomorrow, the last day I lived was to the fullest extent that God intended?! It is blowing my mind that I live so timid and afraid to take opportunities, to step out of my comfort zone, to put my fears behind me, and just go for it. "God works for the good of those who love Him"! So why am I so scared to seize opportunities, or at least pursue them?! How selfish am I?
How selfish are we? Tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow?! Who says that we will have that opportunity tomorrow, or even an hour later?! He controls our fate, He knows what He is doing in our lives, and in that we should find comfort. In that, I should rest in stepping out of the boat and knowing I'll be more than fine. So what about you? Missed any opportunities lately? Had situations appear in your life that you may be timid about, walking on eggshells hoping for the best but expecting the worst? Me too, but we aren't alone, God is right there next to us, carrying us through it all, so why can't we trust that He will provide and work in our lives through opportunities that may seem scary or impossible. "All things are possible with Christ"
Much love
Prov. 3:5-6
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Father's Day
Today is a great day, we get to celebrate the men in our lives that have raised us! I am especially thankful for my dad because he goes through so much just to makes sure that his family is provided for and that his clients needs are met. Its funny the things that I have picked up from my dad over the years, most of which he knows, but some of which he doesn't. I hope and encourage that everyone would take some time today and think about their dad's (and parents in general), have a piece of paper with you if it will help to write down your thoughts. But truly take a minute to think about the things he does for you, your family, others. Chances are you will be like me, overwhelmed at how much my father devotes himself to others. I can't help but think that he either gets some sick pleasure out of seeing others happy, his family in general, or, it was instilled in him growing up to care more about others than himself. Whichever the case it may be, words cannot express how grateful I am to my father for what he has done, he has raised me with strong values and morals that I only hope I will be able to pass on someday. I'm fearful of the thought of having a son and not raising him as well as I feel my parents have raised my brothers and I, we aren't perfect, but our parents did EVERYTHING in their power to make us into as good of people as we could become. I want to switch gears shortly and just talk about something that was in church today. I attend Desert Springs and today we discussed an overview of Luke, a book devoted to Jesus' life and the works He did. After service driving home I knew that today was father's day and we are to be celebrating our dad's, but I was sidetracked as I thought about this. I was distracted because we ALL share a father, the ultimate father, the beginning and the end, the almighty, forgiver, healer, the list goes on but I was blown away that while we are celebrating our earthly fathers, I (maybe others) forget about our ultimate father in heaven. The King of the universe calls us his children! Us, you and I, everyone! God's son Jesus was perfect, in every way, without a question, perfect. And God sacrificed his son for me, a wretched man who walks in sin day in and day out. Yet from the beginning God knew that He would do this, that he would save a world full of sinners, believers and unbelievers, hypocrites and haters, unclean and unjust people such as me. I think I figured out why my dad is the way he is, why he gives so much to other people and thinks about others before even pursuing his needs and desires..... Its because my dad has devoted his life to believe and follow THE father, he decides to die to himself and follow Christ as it says in Matthew 16:24-25. I am so lucky to have such an example right in front of me, love you dad
God Bless
AC
God Bless
AC
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Whose far away?
The last few nights I have needed to post this and I am just now getting around to it, I apologize to anyone reading this who may have been looking for another blog.
I've had a different vision the last few days since I have really tried to bear down and focus on bettering my relationship with Christ and seeing where He would lead me. Its a tough process because I find myself getting caught up in material, worldy, things instead of what God wants to be doing in my life. Recently I have been listening to a lot of "Far Away" by Lecrae. It started out as just a song to praise God with while I was working out or running but once I started ACTUALLY listening I realized that Lecrae is saying that so many times God seems so far away to us but He's not!
I tried to apply this to my life as I was listening to it on repeat for about an hour and fifteen minutes the other day in the gym and I kept thinking of times where I feel like God isn't by my side, I was quickly disgusted with myself. I thought of plenty of times where something was going on in my life that I felt like He wasn't there pulling me through it, by my side, with me, etc. Numerous times where I didn't put my faith that He was who He says He is. The more I thought about why this was, I came to this conclusion. It isn't that God is "far away" because He promises He will never desert us, it is US who are "far away" from God. WE are the ones that separate ourselves from Him, I do it every day. I put so much focus into things that aren't God centered and that is what separates me from Him all the time. At YL Work Week earlier this summer we were challenged to think about God every 15 minutes, I STILL have not been able to do it for a full day, not even half the day probably. Why is it so hard for me to think about the creator of the universe, who knows exactly what He wants for my life every 15 minutes?! Seems ridiculous I know, that I have such a hard time with something so simple as thinking about 1 thing for just a few seconds. Just a new challenge that I could really use and maybe will just continue to further this falling in love process with God. Much love everyone
I've had a different vision the last few days since I have really tried to bear down and focus on bettering my relationship with Christ and seeing where He would lead me. Its a tough process because I find myself getting caught up in material, worldy, things instead of what God wants to be doing in my life. Recently I have been listening to a lot of "Far Away" by Lecrae. It started out as just a song to praise God with while I was working out or running but once I started ACTUALLY listening I realized that Lecrae is saying that so many times God seems so far away to us but He's not!
I tried to apply this to my life as I was listening to it on repeat for about an hour and fifteen minutes the other day in the gym and I kept thinking of times where I feel like God isn't by my side, I was quickly disgusted with myself. I thought of plenty of times where something was going on in my life that I felt like He wasn't there pulling me through it, by my side, with me, etc. Numerous times where I didn't put my faith that He was who He says He is. The more I thought about why this was, I came to this conclusion. It isn't that God is "far away" because He promises He will never desert us, it is US who are "far away" from God. WE are the ones that separate ourselves from Him, I do it every day. I put so much focus into things that aren't God centered and that is what separates me from Him all the time. At YL Work Week earlier this summer we were challenged to think about God every 15 minutes, I STILL have not been able to do it for a full day, not even half the day probably. Why is it so hard for me to think about the creator of the universe, who knows exactly what He wants for my life every 15 minutes?! Seems ridiculous I know, that I have such a hard time with something so simple as thinking about 1 thing for just a few seconds. Just a new challenge that I could really use and maybe will just continue to further this falling in love process with God. Much love everyone
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
What started the "Start of Something New)
Since I came back home from college I have felt my relationship with God dwindling. Not that I wasn't praying, reading my Bible, going to church, and that stuff. But my heart wasn't IN it, I wasn't putting the effort, time, energy, anything, into pursuing a deeper relationship with God. I knew it was happening for some time now but I didn't do anything about it. Finally tonight, June 15, 2010 I decided to go into my backyard at 11pm to read and pray. I ended up realizing that writing down these thoughts, opinions, and happenings would be a great way to share with people what is going on in my life. Someone once told me that who you are in private is who you are in public. So I am making this a way that I will be public about my private relationship with Christ.
Like I said earlier there were hints that God was placing in my life that I was lacking in my pursuit of an intimate relationship with Him but the one that stands out was the most recent. A man by the name of Brad said something to me that I will never forget. Brad's son plays baseball with my youngest brother and we have known their family for years. He is the most outright, outspoken, Christian man I have ever met. He wears Christian T-Shirts every time I have ever seen him; at the little league, out to eat, today when I saw him at my workplace. But beyond that, he is often seen pulling a gigantic wood cross on public streets in what is similar to a heavy duty Red Ryder Wagons. About a week ago he approached me at a little league game, this wasn't out of the ordinary, we usually have great conversation and I love getting the opportunity to talk to him because he is so filled with joy that you can't help but want to talk to him. He sat down on the bleachers and asked me what I was majoring, when I finished telling him he told me that whatever I end up majoring in, that if I ever want to do ministry that he wants me to work along side him at his church. I was blown away, I was honored, I was flattered, but most of all I was humbled. It was at that moment that I knew that he sees something in me that I am not fully living out. A couple days later I was passing him at yet another little league game and he asked me how I was doing and I gave the most generic answer "good and you?" what he responded with is what I will NEVER forget, "BETTER THAN I DESERVE" Think about that for a minute, I have been for the past couple days, I'm a sinner, who deserves death! Yet God saved me from that punishment and gave me the chance to live with him for all eternity. When I showed up for work today Brad was there, he had no idea I worked there, and we had a great conversation. I know God put Brad in that store today to finally, fully, open my eyes to what He is telling me. I love God with all my heart and I have no question about where I put my faith and I think that if you ask almost anyone they will tell you the same thing. Yet that means nothing, it means nothing if I am not pursuing more, every single day, in every aspect of my life. My faith means nothing if I am not so filled with Christ that I am overflowing to a point that others around me know that something is different about my life, that I have something special, because that is what a relationship with Christ is, special, personal, meaningful, foundational, and everlasting. I pray that from now on, I live a life that would be so pleasing to God that He would use me in ways that I never thought possible. Much Love
Austin
Like I said earlier there were hints that God was placing in my life that I was lacking in my pursuit of an intimate relationship with Him but the one that stands out was the most recent. A man by the name of Brad said something to me that I will never forget. Brad's son plays baseball with my youngest brother and we have known their family for years. He is the most outright, outspoken, Christian man I have ever met. He wears Christian T-Shirts every time I have ever seen him; at the little league, out to eat, today when I saw him at my workplace. But beyond that, he is often seen pulling a gigantic wood cross on public streets in what is similar to a heavy duty Red Ryder Wagons. About a week ago he approached me at a little league game, this wasn't out of the ordinary, we usually have great conversation and I love getting the opportunity to talk to him because he is so filled with joy that you can't help but want to talk to him. He sat down on the bleachers and asked me what I was majoring, when I finished telling him he told me that whatever I end up majoring in, that if I ever want to do ministry that he wants me to work along side him at his church. I was blown away, I was honored, I was flattered, but most of all I was humbled. It was at that moment that I knew that he sees something in me that I am not fully living out. A couple days later I was passing him at yet another little league game and he asked me how I was doing and I gave the most generic answer "good and you?" what he responded with is what I will NEVER forget, "BETTER THAN I DESERVE" Think about that for a minute, I have been for the past couple days, I'm a sinner, who deserves death! Yet God saved me from that punishment and gave me the chance to live with him for all eternity. When I showed up for work today Brad was there, he had no idea I worked there, and we had a great conversation. I know God put Brad in that store today to finally, fully, open my eyes to what He is telling me. I love God with all my heart and I have no question about where I put my faith and I think that if you ask almost anyone they will tell you the same thing. Yet that means nothing, it means nothing if I am not pursuing more, every single day, in every aspect of my life. My faith means nothing if I am not so filled with Christ that I am overflowing to a point that others around me know that something is different about my life, that I have something special, because that is what a relationship with Christ is, special, personal, meaningful, foundational, and everlasting. I pray that from now on, I live a life that would be so pleasing to God that He would use me in ways that I never thought possible. Much Love
Austin
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