Hey everyone,
I want to apologize beforehand for this blog as well as the last one, I know, kind of sad. Hopefully not too many tears or bad thoughts but I am at that point in the summer where I have to say goodbye to people and prepare to leave for school again (my least favorite week out of the entire year)
So the group of people I have been hanging out with all summer, now down to just 5, 1 friend headed to her school just a few days ago and I think it hit everyone pretty hard. Tonight we were hanging out though, the now 5 of us, and that is where this blog comes from.
We were sitting on top of the roof of my buddies house and it was kind of cold, the wind was blowing and it was near midnight so you can imagine it wasn't the most comfortable thing to be doing at that moment, but we wanted to be doing it. As I sat there I was just enjoying the night, its always nice to step away and look at a bigger picture. I'm confessing right now that I am NOT ready to leave this summer behind, not ready to leave EVERYTHING this summer has meant, and not ready to leave the people here at home. I've been sick to my stomach thinking that its all coming to an end, it seemed like it was just starting up. I'm getting to the point I promise.
I'm a firm believer that its great to have dreams, and more than that, to pursue those dreams with everything you have.... Until God changes those dreams, alters the path, and follows His plan (which lets be honest can be frustrating and confusing) for our lives that may look different than ours. A lot of me going away to school had a lot to do with finding out what God wanted for my life, and I feel like he is constantly showing me that while I am there in Abilene. However this summer, more than any other summer I have had, God has used things, people, events, and even places to make me really challenge my life, my purpose, my future. I'm really trying to to look into the future (bad habit I am identifying AGAIN) but I am in the sense that I am looking at the things in my life that I have and really trying to find what is meant to be "right now."
We sat on the roof and I started to pay attention to the wind, it wasn't constantly blowing in one particular direction, the more I payed attention I felt like it would blow one way, then come back in a completely different direction. I laughed to myself because it felt like my life in a lot of ways. Being in the middle, with the things of my life around me, pushing and pulling, all out there for me just a little bit at a time. Selfishly I have been begging God, numerous times a day, to just push or pull me so hard in the direction of the things He wants me doing, involved in, pursuing, working at. He will, His timing is perfect, but since when have I been completely ok with His timing? I'm working on it, I'm getting there, but its tough. I'm living the little gusts of wind pushing every which way, now I'm just waiting on the one to hit so hard I can't stand still anymore
God Bless,
Austin
His timing is perfect :) It's hard to wait for in the meantime, but often looking hindsight at situations they make so much more sense and reveal the awe-inspiring aspect of our Lord :)
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