I’ve been thinking about writing this blog since I finished the last blog but really wasn’t sure how I wanted to tie it altogether. Funny/Ironic events that lead to this all happening right now like it is.
I got to go home recently for an entire week for Thanksgiving break (lucky me I know) and I got to do a lot while doing so little. I think I have finally put all the pieces together and that’s why its take me a couple weeks to bounce back from the last blog.
I consider my life pretty dang good, those that know me well know that I have everything I could ever want and need. I’m provided for, I have a loving family, I don’t struggle to do the things I consider “daily things”, so in a lot of ways I am very blessed. I also consider the life I live in many ways pleasing to God; by that I mean that I am living for Him, doing things for His glory, seeking Him first. Don’t think I am tooting my own horn here because that is far from the truth so hang with me. I STILL struggle with daily, easy, little things that aren’t pleasing to Him and it had been hitting me in a big way, yet not as much as some and I am writing this blog in hopes that people will read it and feel in some way shape or form the conviction I feel and am now confessing. That enough is enough!
I look around in the world we live in today and there is a re-occurring mentality, almost a sickness, and I’m guilty of it in ways to so I’m not pointing fingers that aren’t coming back at me. Its this issue of continued, repeated, habitual sinning. I don’t care what it is, you name it: lying, cheating, sex, cursing, lust, hate, drugs, alcohol, envy, gossip, greed, false idols, the list goes on and on and on. This is my question: When Is Enough, Enough?! We have all the tools and abilities to cut these things from our lives and be done with them yet they continue to happen no matter how much we say we want to stop doing this or that, its not happening. Our words are just that, words, there is no ceasing of doing these things. Why?! What is the point in saying that you want to stop or promising yourself or worse, promising God that you will stop tomorrow or later. Stop saying later, or tomorrow, put your words into action, I urge you, no I challenge you, I challenge myself, to actually DO IT!
I saw a billboard as I was driving back to Abilene today, it was one of those God billboards with a quote from God. (Whoever came up with this idea by the way, genius) It read, “They aren’t suggestions, they’re called commandments for a reason.”-God
That hit me pretty hard because I KNOW all the things in my life that I don’t need and that are holding me down or hindering my relationship with Christ, yet no matter how much I tell myself to be done with them, they keep popping back up. I know I’m not alone in this so I write to encourage the weary of spirit in whatever it is but I also write to call you out on the issues in your life. None of us are without struggles of sin. So what is your sin that is holding you back and when are you going to decided that enough is enough and that it is time to make a change! Stop saying and start doing! There’s nothing worse than saying you’ll do something and not following up with it, trust me. I know this was all over the place and I couldn’t convey my anger/disgust/encouragement/care the way I truly wanted to. But don’t let it be just something you deal with alone, talk to someone about the sin that is holding you down. Read Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 and then find someone, share with them what your sins are that continue to pop up and let them help you walk through being done with them. If you don’t feel comfortable asking someone, ask me, and I’ll share mine with you as well. No sin is greater than another, but there is power in knowing and living with each other through those things. Stop letting the devil have his day, enough is enough.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
"Who Dat" They Call Jesus?
That’s the question I have for everyone, that’s the question I have for myself. But here’s why:
Who do I (you, us, we) say that Jesus is?
This is a question that weeks ago popped into my head, and since that time my life has been in a funk(I’ll explain that later). I know who Jesus is, I know what He did, and I know the story. We all do right? Jesus is the Son of God, sent to die for our sins, so that we may have eternal life so long as we believe in Him (John 3:16). I know that, everyone knows that, that verse is popular even with nonbelievers in the world today.
When reading Mark 8 as the disciples were walking Jesus asked, “ Who do people say I am?” And the answer ranges from one thing to another, showing that the world has different views on Jesus, everyon will have their own definition which in and of itself, I don’t think is a bad thing. But Jesus then asks, “Who do YOU say that I am?” And its perfect, the answer that we should have at the center of our own answer is what Peter says, “You are the Christ, the Messiah.” (Christ/Messiah means in essence, sent to save the world, deliver) So when I heard the question that the disciples were asked in Mark 8, “Who do you say that I am?” I realized I had never thought about what my response would be in that moment.
In the past two weeks I have continued to think about my definition that is outside of the definition that He is the Christ/Messiah. Although in reality that is all we need, I think its good to have our own summary if you may, to what that means to us, so I want to share mine with you. Jesus is the Son of God, He came to this Earth and lived a perfect life so that we may see what to strive for and live like, and He died for the sins of undeserving people so that we may spend eternity with Him. Woah! That may sound elaborate or intense but its not, and what’s worse, is it took me 2 weeks to even come up with that. But here is the important thing in my own definition that I want to lay out so it will make a little more sense.
“Jesus Christ is the Son of God”, ok, pretty basic, we all know what I mean by that, its literal.
Here is where I think things get cool:
“He came to this Earth and lived a perfect life so that we may see what to strive for and live like”-Jesus came to Earth, our Earth, He, came to be a human, if that doesn’t blow your mind already I don’t know what will. He is one of us! You ready for something more crazy, He lived a perfect life! Who can say that they have lived a perfect life? No one, no one can say that they are perfect, but Christ. What an example that is to try and follow, notice TRY.
“He died for the sins of undeserving people so that we may spend eternity with Him”- He died, gave up His life, so that we may live. When I say undeserving, don’t downplay what that means, not one person who has lived on this Earth has deserved for Jesus to die for them, so they can spend eternity with Him? What? Not only does He want to die so that we may benefit, He wants to die for us, so that we can benefit by hanging out with us forever?!
So come-live perfect-die for sinners- spend forever with them…. Interesting concept because no offense because I am one of those sinners, but who wants to die for a sinner to spend forever with them! That is why Who Jesus Is, is an incredible thing. It’s something that is hard to put into words but I did the best I could in my own sense, I hope you enjoyed it. At the center, He is THE Christ/Messiah. But I would encourage and promote you thinking yourself what does “Who Is Jesus” mean to you. I’d love to hear some feedback on what your definition is, I know mine isn’t “right” or “perfect” but it’s an interesting thought isn’t it?
Much love!
Romans 5:8
“God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Who do I (you, us, we) say that Jesus is?
This is a question that weeks ago popped into my head, and since that time my life has been in a funk(I’ll explain that later). I know who Jesus is, I know what He did, and I know the story. We all do right? Jesus is the Son of God, sent to die for our sins, so that we may have eternal life so long as we believe in Him (John 3:16). I know that, everyone knows that, that verse is popular even with nonbelievers in the world today.
When reading Mark 8 as the disciples were walking Jesus asked, “ Who do people say I am?” And the answer ranges from one thing to another, showing that the world has different views on Jesus, everyon will have their own definition which in and of itself, I don’t think is a bad thing. But Jesus then asks, “Who do YOU say that I am?” And its perfect, the answer that we should have at the center of our own answer is what Peter says, “You are the Christ, the Messiah.” (Christ/Messiah means in essence, sent to save the world, deliver) So when I heard the question that the disciples were asked in Mark 8, “Who do you say that I am?” I realized I had never thought about what my response would be in that moment.
In the past two weeks I have continued to think about my definition that is outside of the definition that He is the Christ/Messiah. Although in reality that is all we need, I think its good to have our own summary if you may, to what that means to us, so I want to share mine with you. Jesus is the Son of God, He came to this Earth and lived a perfect life so that we may see what to strive for and live like, and He died for the sins of undeserving people so that we may spend eternity with Him. Woah! That may sound elaborate or intense but its not, and what’s worse, is it took me 2 weeks to even come up with that. But here is the important thing in my own definition that I want to lay out so it will make a little more sense.
“Jesus Christ is the Son of God”, ok, pretty basic, we all know what I mean by that, its literal.
Here is where I think things get cool:
“He came to this Earth and lived a perfect life so that we may see what to strive for and live like”-Jesus came to Earth, our Earth, He, came to be a human, if that doesn’t blow your mind already I don’t know what will. He is one of us! You ready for something more crazy, He lived a perfect life! Who can say that they have lived a perfect life? No one, no one can say that they are perfect, but Christ. What an example that is to try and follow, notice TRY.
“He died for the sins of undeserving people so that we may spend eternity with Him”- He died, gave up His life, so that we may live. When I say undeserving, don’t downplay what that means, not one person who has lived on this Earth has deserved for Jesus to die for them, so they can spend eternity with Him? What? Not only does He want to die so that we may benefit, He wants to die for us, so that we can benefit by hanging out with us forever?!
So come-live perfect-die for sinners- spend forever with them…. Interesting concept because no offense because I am one of those sinners, but who wants to die for a sinner to spend forever with them! That is why Who Jesus Is, is an incredible thing. It’s something that is hard to put into words but I did the best I could in my own sense, I hope you enjoyed it. At the center, He is THE Christ/Messiah. But I would encourage and promote you thinking yourself what does “Who Is Jesus” mean to you. I’d love to hear some feedback on what your definition is, I know mine isn’t “right” or “perfect” but it’s an interesting thought isn’t it?
Much love!
Romans 5:8
“God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Monday, September 20, 2010
Take Notes!
We can learn a whole lot, from so little, from the small things, the things that we may not think twice about. Well take notes and pay attention, because its happening all around you, I promise.
Tonight’s blog doesn’t have a whole lot to do with a spiritual experience yet everything to do with one at the same time. Today I was talking to my mom on the phone and she informed me of something my brother did recently and it brought me to tears. Now before I even begin, know that this isn’t about me, my brother, or anything in-between, this is all to God’s credit, for his mercy and love for that I don’t deserve, that none of us deserve.
The background is this; high school football I started praying with some guys at the 30-yard line before football games. Why the 30, I don’t know, there wasn’t a real reason for that, but it was just a time, real quick, when guys who wanted to say a quick prayer could do so. Fast forward to today, the same things goes on at my high school and my little brother now gets to lead the same thing I did before football games. Awesome? No, awesome is an understatement! This is where the story picks up from what happened today.
I was texting my brother last Friday, as he was riding down to a football game that they were picked to lose, no one giving them much chance to be victorious. He shared with me a verse, out of random. 2 Timothy 1:7 “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” Our conversation followed like this:
Me: “So you have something to share before you pray tonight?” (at the game, on the 30)
Typically the prayer at the 30 was just a quick word of I love you guys, lets play hard, then we say the Lord’s prayer (football typical I know). So I thought he was going to share this verse.
My brother: “No, its my verse of the week”
Me: “Oh cool, like a devotional?”
My brother: “Kind of, at the beginning of each week I put a verse on my locker for guys to come by and look at if they want, just whatever God lays on me to put up”
Me: Wow! That’s awesome, I didn’t know you did that
The conversation went on but not too much more came of us talking about that, just me telling him I was proud of him and what a testament that is for Christ, in a 5A public school locker room with rough kids, most of which don’t know Jesus. I was blown away at the maturity of my 17 year old brother, and how much a man of God he is becoming every single day. The story gets better, that wasn’t what brought me to tears but this is.
Today my mom and I were talking on the phone before I went into YL and she asked me if I heard about what Davis did Friday night? I figured she was going to tell me about some play he made or something he did that was big in the game. NOPE! She said that before the game, when they got down to the 30, as they prepared to pray, waiting on Davis to start the prayer, he shouted at them, he shouted 2 Timothy 1:7 at 40 guys, with many others close by hearing him shout the words that were written to us. They won the football game 24-23.
Now I know my brother, and I know that he is a funny, fun loving, sarcastic kid. But I also know, or I thought I knew that he had a serious relationship with Christ. What I didn’t know, is that my brother would get in front of 40 guys on a knee, on a football field, with plenty of people watching and listening, and shout a verse that God put on his heart. That’s bold! That takes courage. Fitting that Sunday’s message at church this week was about Courage… coincidence? I don’t think so, rather an example from God a message He is trying to get to us. I heard the message on Sunday, and I was moved, it hit me hard that I don’t take enough courage in God to do things every day for His kingdom. But I got it tonight, I get it, I’m listening God, keep showing me your words. For me it took a story about someone I love more than words can imagine standing up and professing his faith through the words inside the Bible that beg us to be powerful for God’s name. It took a 17 year old high school student to get it to really settle in my head, to really weigh my heart, to really grab me and shake me to take courage and live a life for God no matter what the circumstance or my surroundings. So here’s the challenge, here’s my point. What is it going to take for you? What is it going to take for you to stop living lukewarm instead of being bold, being dangerous, being on edge, for Christ’s sake? It wont be the same for all of us, some will read my little story and thing, eh whatever, and that’s fine. But sooner or later, something will happen in your life, I promise you that, something will happen and the question will remain… What is it going to take for you to take Courage in Christ, and live the greatest life anyone has ever known?
Much love
Tonight’s blog doesn’t have a whole lot to do with a spiritual experience yet everything to do with one at the same time. Today I was talking to my mom on the phone and she informed me of something my brother did recently and it brought me to tears. Now before I even begin, know that this isn’t about me, my brother, or anything in-between, this is all to God’s credit, for his mercy and love for that I don’t deserve, that none of us deserve.
The background is this; high school football I started praying with some guys at the 30-yard line before football games. Why the 30, I don’t know, there wasn’t a real reason for that, but it was just a time, real quick, when guys who wanted to say a quick prayer could do so. Fast forward to today, the same things goes on at my high school and my little brother now gets to lead the same thing I did before football games. Awesome? No, awesome is an understatement! This is where the story picks up from what happened today.
I was texting my brother last Friday, as he was riding down to a football game that they were picked to lose, no one giving them much chance to be victorious. He shared with me a verse, out of random. 2 Timothy 1:7 “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” Our conversation followed like this:
Me: “So you have something to share before you pray tonight?” (at the game, on the 30)
Typically the prayer at the 30 was just a quick word of I love you guys, lets play hard, then we say the Lord’s prayer (football typical I know). So I thought he was going to share this verse.
My brother: “No, its my verse of the week”
Me: “Oh cool, like a devotional?”
My brother: “Kind of, at the beginning of each week I put a verse on my locker for guys to come by and look at if they want, just whatever God lays on me to put up”
Me: Wow! That’s awesome, I didn’t know you did that
The conversation went on but not too much more came of us talking about that, just me telling him I was proud of him and what a testament that is for Christ, in a 5A public school locker room with rough kids, most of which don’t know Jesus. I was blown away at the maturity of my 17 year old brother, and how much a man of God he is becoming every single day. The story gets better, that wasn’t what brought me to tears but this is.
Today my mom and I were talking on the phone before I went into YL and she asked me if I heard about what Davis did Friday night? I figured she was going to tell me about some play he made or something he did that was big in the game. NOPE! She said that before the game, when they got down to the 30, as they prepared to pray, waiting on Davis to start the prayer, he shouted at them, he shouted 2 Timothy 1:7 at 40 guys, with many others close by hearing him shout the words that were written to us. They won the football game 24-23.
Now I know my brother, and I know that he is a funny, fun loving, sarcastic kid. But I also know, or I thought I knew that he had a serious relationship with Christ. What I didn’t know, is that my brother would get in front of 40 guys on a knee, on a football field, with plenty of people watching and listening, and shout a verse that God put on his heart. That’s bold! That takes courage. Fitting that Sunday’s message at church this week was about Courage… coincidence? I don’t think so, rather an example from God a message He is trying to get to us. I heard the message on Sunday, and I was moved, it hit me hard that I don’t take enough courage in God to do things every day for His kingdom. But I got it tonight, I get it, I’m listening God, keep showing me your words. For me it took a story about someone I love more than words can imagine standing up and professing his faith through the words inside the Bible that beg us to be powerful for God’s name. It took a 17 year old high school student to get it to really settle in my head, to really weigh my heart, to really grab me and shake me to take courage and live a life for God no matter what the circumstance or my surroundings. So here’s the challenge, here’s my point. What is it going to take for you? What is it going to take for you to stop living lukewarm instead of being bold, being dangerous, being on edge, for Christ’s sake? It wont be the same for all of us, some will read my little story and thing, eh whatever, and that’s fine. But sooner or later, something will happen in your life, I promise you that, something will happen and the question will remain… What is it going to take for you to take Courage in Christ, and live the greatest life anyone has ever known?
Much love
Monday, September 6, 2010
What did you do today?
Hey everyone, hope this finds you doing well and enjoying life to the fullest. That’s actually what this blog is about, living your life to the fullest.
Today I received an email informing me that a professor at my school passed out in the hall and was pronounced dead shortly after at the hospital here in Abilene. This man was 55 years old, he has a wife, and two kids. Yeah, I’m blown away at the tragedy and can’t even imagine what that must be like for his family. It is shocking, saddening, but most of all in my mind, scary.
I don’t want to downplay the fact that this is awful tragedy, and that there is mourning to be done. However I do find a great point in this and it is something I have been thinking about for a week or so now.
Matt Chandler spoke at my church here recently, he is a well known preacher and I had the opportunity to write down some thoughts while he preached two Sunday’s ago. He talked about some great things and I could write numerous blogs on what was said (I just might actually) but he mentioned something that is at the heart of everyone at some point or another, being satisfied.
This was exactly why I started blogging about my life, because I was ok (satisfied) with where my relationship with Christ was at, and that’s not ok. Matt used an illustration that I want to try and share, I hope I can do it justice.
We all have a bar that we set in our life, this isn’t an actually bar, but a imaginary bar of standards we have. We go through our day-to-day lives and we have this bar that probably isn’t set very high. Mine; do the right things, say the right things, live the right way. Sounded pretty good to me, but how LOW is that in reality? How easy is it for me to lay in bed at night and weigh the events of the day and say, yeah, I got over my bar today, overall I did good. I’ve been trying to figure out where my bar REALLY stood and where it SHOULD be at over the past two weeks. I’m still not sure honestly, I know that I don’t set it high enough in many areas of my life, and that’s something that I can only improve on, because good enough is never good enough.
God DEMANDS more. How lucky are we, how lucky am I, that 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10 says what it does: ““My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why for Christ’s sake, I delight in my weakness, in my insults, in hardships, in persecutions, and in difficulties. For when I am weak, I am strong.”
What I learned from the tragedy today and remembering the illustration of setting a bar for my life is this. That every day, I need to set the bar so high that there is no way I can get over it, but it should be my goal, the only thing that matters, to reach that bar and get over it. I am weak, I am not able to live this life on my own, I don’t have the ability to do it. Thankfully God wants me to be weak, and to let Him be strong through my weakness.
So live your life to the fullest, don’t let a minute go by that you will want back at the end of the day. We are called to live boldly, courageously, and with strength. So go out into the world, change someone’s life or impact someone’s life I should say because your life has been changed through the dying of Jesus Christ and so has theirs. Tell you people you love them and that you care about them sincerely, don’t live superficially in a world with enough of that already. Go beyond the surface, you never know what is underneath. Trust in a PERFECT God who loves us, even in our faults and mistakes. Lastly, don’t let an opportunity get away that you never know if you will get it again, we don’t know how long our time here on Earth is, so make the most of every second you do have.
Much Love
Austin
Today I received an email informing me that a professor at my school passed out in the hall and was pronounced dead shortly after at the hospital here in Abilene. This man was 55 years old, he has a wife, and two kids. Yeah, I’m blown away at the tragedy and can’t even imagine what that must be like for his family. It is shocking, saddening, but most of all in my mind, scary.
I don’t want to downplay the fact that this is awful tragedy, and that there is mourning to be done. However I do find a great point in this and it is something I have been thinking about for a week or so now.
Matt Chandler spoke at my church here recently, he is a well known preacher and I had the opportunity to write down some thoughts while he preached two Sunday’s ago. He talked about some great things and I could write numerous blogs on what was said (I just might actually) but he mentioned something that is at the heart of everyone at some point or another, being satisfied.
This was exactly why I started blogging about my life, because I was ok (satisfied) with where my relationship with Christ was at, and that’s not ok. Matt used an illustration that I want to try and share, I hope I can do it justice.
We all have a bar that we set in our life, this isn’t an actually bar, but a imaginary bar of standards we have. We go through our day-to-day lives and we have this bar that probably isn’t set very high. Mine; do the right things, say the right things, live the right way. Sounded pretty good to me, but how LOW is that in reality? How easy is it for me to lay in bed at night and weigh the events of the day and say, yeah, I got over my bar today, overall I did good. I’ve been trying to figure out where my bar REALLY stood and where it SHOULD be at over the past two weeks. I’m still not sure honestly, I know that I don’t set it high enough in many areas of my life, and that’s something that I can only improve on, because good enough is never good enough.
God DEMANDS more. How lucky are we, how lucky am I, that 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10 says what it does: ““My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why for Christ’s sake, I delight in my weakness, in my insults, in hardships, in persecutions, and in difficulties. For when I am weak, I am strong.”
What I learned from the tragedy today and remembering the illustration of setting a bar for my life is this. That every day, I need to set the bar so high that there is no way I can get over it, but it should be my goal, the only thing that matters, to reach that bar and get over it. I am weak, I am not able to live this life on my own, I don’t have the ability to do it. Thankfully God wants me to be weak, and to let Him be strong through my weakness.
So live your life to the fullest, don’t let a minute go by that you will want back at the end of the day. We are called to live boldly, courageously, and with strength. So go out into the world, change someone’s life or impact someone’s life I should say because your life has been changed through the dying of Jesus Christ and so has theirs. Tell you people you love them and that you care about them sincerely, don’t live superficially in a world with enough of that already. Go beyond the surface, you never know what is underneath. Trust in a PERFECT God who loves us, even in our faults and mistakes. Lastly, don’t let an opportunity get away that you never know if you will get it again, we don’t know how long our time here on Earth is, so make the most of every second you do have.
Much Love
Austin
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Back in TX....
Back in Texas…..
Well, where to begin, that’s a tough one. I’ve been back here in Texas for less than a week and I feel like I have so much and so little to share at the same time. So far, my life has consisted of school, baseball, then getting ready for school. I’m exhausted, and Young Life, New Student Bible Study, and nothing social has really even started…. God help me!
I’m going to try to get right to the point tonight. Try would be the key word in that sentence as you all know, I have a tendency to draw things out.
Since I have been back here for school I have been pretty bitter and upset to be completely honest. And it has nothing to do with being in school or the fact that its 100+ at practice every day. I was SO angry to be leaving home this year, and its been killing me. Some of the frustration has gone away, but when I get to thinking about it, I get worked up all over again.
I know that when everyone has to leave home they have things they don’t want to leave, things they will miss. For me, I absolutely hate saying bye to my family, it kills me every time and for some reason this year was the hardest, it tears me up inside every day and I know that’s a good thing to miss people you care about, but it hurts too. This summer I also hung out with a great group of friends that I was very bummed to leave, even though we are all going back to our respected schools to do our own thing, and that’s awesome. I also had the opportunity to take a certain young lady out on a couple dates, and I developed intimate feelings for her, so being away from that doesn’t help that already existing hurt from family and friends.
I know I have talked about this before so there’s a deeper point.
Church Sunday was something I was really looking forward to, little did I know God had a message that was specifically for me, entitled “Building a Life That Matters, Give Thanks”
The whole sermon was based around the fact that God has taken care of everything in our lives. He has done what needs to be done and He will continue to take care of us because He knows best. Its not worth us complaining or whining about it, because the “struggles” we are having are minimal in comparison to the great things we have in our lives that Christ has given us. This is me right now… God has done great things in my life and He will continue to, and I know that. Yet still, 4 days after that message I am having such a hard time just knowing that God will take care of everything; He will take care of my family till I see them again, doing great things in each of their lives, He will allow my friends to have a great semester filled with ups and downs that will ultimately continue to mold them as people as individuals and us as a group of friends, and He will do what He wants with a possible future relationship in my life.
I KNOW ALL THESE THINGS!!! That’s what makes me feel so selfish and sick to my stomach, because I still can’t let go of the fact that I wish I still had it all with me, right here, not hundreds and thousands of miles away. I’m continuing to pray that God will take care of this anxiety/frustration/confusion in my life. I know that He will take care of it all, but because I am really good with patience, I wish I could see the bigger picture sooner. The other night as I expressed my frustrations to my dad on the phone he said this, “Our timing and God’s timing are rarely the same, but that’s because His time is better than ours.” (Makes me miss him just remembering our conversation as I was broken in my car outside my house here in TX because I wasn’t ready to get out and face that fact that I was here, and that I had to move forward)
My prayer for myself and for those who may feel the same way in some way or another is this: I want all the answers; God already has the answer key. I want things on my time; God’s time is perfect. I don’t know how to fix that discontent; God has all the tools. So for me, and anyone else, its time to let Him do work on my heart. I can only do so much, but He can do everything
God Bless,
Austin
Well, where to begin, that’s a tough one. I’ve been back here in Texas for less than a week and I feel like I have so much and so little to share at the same time. So far, my life has consisted of school, baseball, then getting ready for school. I’m exhausted, and Young Life, New Student Bible Study, and nothing social has really even started…. God help me!
I’m going to try to get right to the point tonight. Try would be the key word in that sentence as you all know, I have a tendency to draw things out.
Since I have been back here for school I have been pretty bitter and upset to be completely honest. And it has nothing to do with being in school or the fact that its 100+ at practice every day. I was SO angry to be leaving home this year, and its been killing me. Some of the frustration has gone away, but when I get to thinking about it, I get worked up all over again.
I know that when everyone has to leave home they have things they don’t want to leave, things they will miss. For me, I absolutely hate saying bye to my family, it kills me every time and for some reason this year was the hardest, it tears me up inside every day and I know that’s a good thing to miss people you care about, but it hurts too. This summer I also hung out with a great group of friends that I was very bummed to leave, even though we are all going back to our respected schools to do our own thing, and that’s awesome. I also had the opportunity to take a certain young lady out on a couple dates, and I developed intimate feelings for her, so being away from that doesn’t help that already existing hurt from family and friends.
I know I have talked about this before so there’s a deeper point.
Church Sunday was something I was really looking forward to, little did I know God had a message that was specifically for me, entitled “Building a Life That Matters, Give Thanks”
The whole sermon was based around the fact that God has taken care of everything in our lives. He has done what needs to be done and He will continue to take care of us because He knows best. Its not worth us complaining or whining about it, because the “struggles” we are having are minimal in comparison to the great things we have in our lives that Christ has given us. This is me right now… God has done great things in my life and He will continue to, and I know that. Yet still, 4 days after that message I am having such a hard time just knowing that God will take care of everything; He will take care of my family till I see them again, doing great things in each of their lives, He will allow my friends to have a great semester filled with ups and downs that will ultimately continue to mold them as people as individuals and us as a group of friends, and He will do what He wants with a possible future relationship in my life.
I KNOW ALL THESE THINGS!!! That’s what makes me feel so selfish and sick to my stomach, because I still can’t let go of the fact that I wish I still had it all with me, right here, not hundreds and thousands of miles away. I’m continuing to pray that God will take care of this anxiety/frustration/confusion in my life. I know that He will take care of it all, but because I am really good with patience, I wish I could see the bigger picture sooner. The other night as I expressed my frustrations to my dad on the phone he said this, “Our timing and God’s timing are rarely the same, but that’s because His time is better than ours.” (Makes me miss him just remembering our conversation as I was broken in my car outside my house here in TX because I wasn’t ready to get out and face that fact that I was here, and that I had to move forward)
My prayer for myself and for those who may feel the same way in some way or another is this: I want all the answers; God already has the answer key. I want things on my time; God’s time is perfect. I don’t know how to fix that discontent; God has all the tools. So for me, and anyone else, its time to let Him do work on my heart. I can only do so much, but He can do everything
God Bless,
Austin
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
How the wind blows
Hey everyone,
I want to apologize beforehand for this blog as well as the last one, I know, kind of sad. Hopefully not too many tears or bad thoughts but I am at that point in the summer where I have to say goodbye to people and prepare to leave for school again (my least favorite week out of the entire year)
So the group of people I have been hanging out with all summer, now down to just 5, 1 friend headed to her school just a few days ago and I think it hit everyone pretty hard. Tonight we were hanging out though, the now 5 of us, and that is where this blog comes from.
We were sitting on top of the roof of my buddies house and it was kind of cold, the wind was blowing and it was near midnight so you can imagine it wasn't the most comfortable thing to be doing at that moment, but we wanted to be doing it. As I sat there I was just enjoying the night, its always nice to step away and look at a bigger picture. I'm confessing right now that I am NOT ready to leave this summer behind, not ready to leave EVERYTHING this summer has meant, and not ready to leave the people here at home. I've been sick to my stomach thinking that its all coming to an end, it seemed like it was just starting up. I'm getting to the point I promise.
I'm a firm believer that its great to have dreams, and more than that, to pursue those dreams with everything you have.... Until God changes those dreams, alters the path, and follows His plan (which lets be honest can be frustrating and confusing) for our lives that may look different than ours. A lot of me going away to school had a lot to do with finding out what God wanted for my life, and I feel like he is constantly showing me that while I am there in Abilene. However this summer, more than any other summer I have had, God has used things, people, events, and even places to make me really challenge my life, my purpose, my future. I'm really trying to to look into the future (bad habit I am identifying AGAIN) but I am in the sense that I am looking at the things in my life that I have and really trying to find what is meant to be "right now."
We sat on the roof and I started to pay attention to the wind, it wasn't constantly blowing in one particular direction, the more I payed attention I felt like it would blow one way, then come back in a completely different direction. I laughed to myself because it felt like my life in a lot of ways. Being in the middle, with the things of my life around me, pushing and pulling, all out there for me just a little bit at a time. Selfishly I have been begging God, numerous times a day, to just push or pull me so hard in the direction of the things He wants me doing, involved in, pursuing, working at. He will, His timing is perfect, but since when have I been completely ok with His timing? I'm working on it, I'm getting there, but its tough. I'm living the little gusts of wind pushing every which way, now I'm just waiting on the one to hit so hard I can't stand still anymore
God Bless,
Austin
I want to apologize beforehand for this blog as well as the last one, I know, kind of sad. Hopefully not too many tears or bad thoughts but I am at that point in the summer where I have to say goodbye to people and prepare to leave for school again (my least favorite week out of the entire year)
So the group of people I have been hanging out with all summer, now down to just 5, 1 friend headed to her school just a few days ago and I think it hit everyone pretty hard. Tonight we were hanging out though, the now 5 of us, and that is where this blog comes from.
We were sitting on top of the roof of my buddies house and it was kind of cold, the wind was blowing and it was near midnight so you can imagine it wasn't the most comfortable thing to be doing at that moment, but we wanted to be doing it. As I sat there I was just enjoying the night, its always nice to step away and look at a bigger picture. I'm confessing right now that I am NOT ready to leave this summer behind, not ready to leave EVERYTHING this summer has meant, and not ready to leave the people here at home. I've been sick to my stomach thinking that its all coming to an end, it seemed like it was just starting up. I'm getting to the point I promise.
I'm a firm believer that its great to have dreams, and more than that, to pursue those dreams with everything you have.... Until God changes those dreams, alters the path, and follows His plan (which lets be honest can be frustrating and confusing) for our lives that may look different than ours. A lot of me going away to school had a lot to do with finding out what God wanted for my life, and I feel like he is constantly showing me that while I am there in Abilene. However this summer, more than any other summer I have had, God has used things, people, events, and even places to make me really challenge my life, my purpose, my future. I'm really trying to to look into the future (bad habit I am identifying AGAIN) but I am in the sense that I am looking at the things in my life that I have and really trying to find what is meant to be "right now."
We sat on the roof and I started to pay attention to the wind, it wasn't constantly blowing in one particular direction, the more I payed attention I felt like it would blow one way, then come back in a completely different direction. I laughed to myself because it felt like my life in a lot of ways. Being in the middle, with the things of my life around me, pushing and pulling, all out there for me just a little bit at a time. Selfishly I have been begging God, numerous times a day, to just push or pull me so hard in the direction of the things He wants me doing, involved in, pursuing, working at. He will, His timing is perfect, but since when have I been completely ok with His timing? I'm working on it, I'm getting there, but its tough. I'm living the little gusts of wind pushing every which way, now I'm just waiting on the one to hit so hard I can't stand still anymore
God Bless,
Austin
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Scattered, random, confusing, call it what you want
Hey everyone, I know it’s been a long time and I do apologize for the delay. There have been a lot of crazy things going on in life and I got caught up in it all. Not bad things, I haven’t fallen off the map or gotten into anything bad (besides staying up till 2-3am every night but even that is for good reason) This blog wont cover the last month in great detail, but something I recently realized that has a lot to do with the last month or so of my life.
The other day my youngest brother and I were running errands and decided to stop by our old house across from the park. I usually just roll by but for some reason I decided to stop the car. My brother later told me, “I could tell you were remembering memories from when we lived there by the way you were looking at the house.” (Note: I had sunglasses on, how he could tell this, beyond me) He was right, flashbacks rushed into my head and made me pretty emotional, my eyes watered but I held it together, I was in front of my baby brother, I had to be tough.
From there I had to drive just down the street to stop by grandmas old house (hard to believe it was nearly ten years ago that she passed away) before leaving that area of Albuquerque. This is when the emotional teary-eyed twenty year old lost it. I’ve driven by her house so many times without that being my reaction, but something clicked the other day, and I had to try to catch the tears running down from under my sunglasses so that my brother wouldn’t catch on.
That night I had dinner with my family, just a good family dinner on the back porch where we got to sit down, relax, and just enjoy each other for a couple hours, just talking. From there I went to hang out with a group of friends that I have become very close to this summer, five of them in fact, that have given me a lot of perspective on life. It has been reoccurring thoughts that we would all go our separate ways here in the next couple weeks, not something any of us are looking forward to. For the obvious reasons yes, but what I realized this specific night finally came full circle after hanging out with this group of friends.
For the longest time I have had a major problem with worrying about what the future holds, wanting to know what is going to happen with a certain area of my life, or saying, “I just want to know what is going to happen so that I can be prepared.” What I realized is this; I’ll put the pieces together here in an easy to follow way.
1st stop was my old house: Memories of my childhood flooded my head and I realized where I had come from, how I was raised, things I did to get me to be where I am today.
2nd stop was Grandma’s old house: Typically where I spent my time if I wasn’t home, where a woman (my grandmother) wanted nothing more than to just have us in her house, close to her. What I realized that day, is how much I still miss her. She was one of the most influential women in my life at such an early age that it still has an impact on me today.
3rd event was dinner: I sat around the table with a family that the world would say is doing just fine, and I realized this IS who I am, right now, in this day, I am what my family is, we are alike in many ways and I’m so thankful that I will ALWAYS have that, no matter what.
4th event was hanging out with some friends: That night I looked at the faces of the people in the group and realized how I cared about each of them individually and all together. The one thing they have taught me is that this is today, not tomorrow, not yesterday, it’s what you are doing right now that matters, so make the most of it.
So 1. Process of growing up, learning 2. Letting someone close to you is scary to me now, but it’s worth it. 3. Who I am today, what I have, what I will always have. 4. Don’t worry about the future, enjoy today, and make the most of every moment.
I know this is random and probably doesn’t make sense, but if you know me it might, I don’t know.
I was reminded when I was asked to speak to the youth group at my church just last Sunday about something that hangs around my neck on a necklace my parents gave me when they dropped me off in Abilene. It’s Jer. 29:11 which reads, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord, “plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
I had gotten away from that this summer a bit in more ways than I would like to admit. But I was refocused by a day that took me from my past to my present that ended in a reminder to focus on today, because that’s what is important now. God has the future under control. Yeah I have some strong suggestions I’d like to pass on, but He’s got some of His own, and He knows much better than I do. I’m ok with that. So whether its school, sports, girls, career, etc. I have to take a step back and remember that I’m not in control, as much as I do or as hard as I try to be, I’m not. Thank goodness, I would severely screw things up! Again sorry for the random jumping all over the place, hopefully you got something out of this, if you want to hear more, “you have my contact information.”
God Bless
Austin
The other day my youngest brother and I were running errands and decided to stop by our old house across from the park. I usually just roll by but for some reason I decided to stop the car. My brother later told me, “I could tell you were remembering memories from when we lived there by the way you were looking at the house.” (Note: I had sunglasses on, how he could tell this, beyond me) He was right, flashbacks rushed into my head and made me pretty emotional, my eyes watered but I held it together, I was in front of my baby brother, I had to be tough.
From there I had to drive just down the street to stop by grandmas old house (hard to believe it was nearly ten years ago that she passed away) before leaving that area of Albuquerque. This is when the emotional teary-eyed twenty year old lost it. I’ve driven by her house so many times without that being my reaction, but something clicked the other day, and I had to try to catch the tears running down from under my sunglasses so that my brother wouldn’t catch on.
That night I had dinner with my family, just a good family dinner on the back porch where we got to sit down, relax, and just enjoy each other for a couple hours, just talking. From there I went to hang out with a group of friends that I have become very close to this summer, five of them in fact, that have given me a lot of perspective on life. It has been reoccurring thoughts that we would all go our separate ways here in the next couple weeks, not something any of us are looking forward to. For the obvious reasons yes, but what I realized this specific night finally came full circle after hanging out with this group of friends.
For the longest time I have had a major problem with worrying about what the future holds, wanting to know what is going to happen with a certain area of my life, or saying, “I just want to know what is going to happen so that I can be prepared.” What I realized is this; I’ll put the pieces together here in an easy to follow way.
1st stop was my old house: Memories of my childhood flooded my head and I realized where I had come from, how I was raised, things I did to get me to be where I am today.
2nd stop was Grandma’s old house: Typically where I spent my time if I wasn’t home, where a woman (my grandmother) wanted nothing more than to just have us in her house, close to her. What I realized that day, is how much I still miss her. She was one of the most influential women in my life at such an early age that it still has an impact on me today.
3rd event was dinner: I sat around the table with a family that the world would say is doing just fine, and I realized this IS who I am, right now, in this day, I am what my family is, we are alike in many ways and I’m so thankful that I will ALWAYS have that, no matter what.
4th event was hanging out with some friends: That night I looked at the faces of the people in the group and realized how I cared about each of them individually and all together. The one thing they have taught me is that this is today, not tomorrow, not yesterday, it’s what you are doing right now that matters, so make the most of it.
So 1. Process of growing up, learning 2. Letting someone close to you is scary to me now, but it’s worth it. 3. Who I am today, what I have, what I will always have. 4. Don’t worry about the future, enjoy today, and make the most of every moment.
I know this is random and probably doesn’t make sense, but if you know me it might, I don’t know.
I was reminded when I was asked to speak to the youth group at my church just last Sunday about something that hangs around my neck on a necklace my parents gave me when they dropped me off in Abilene. It’s Jer. 29:11 which reads, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord, “plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
I had gotten away from that this summer a bit in more ways than I would like to admit. But I was refocused by a day that took me from my past to my present that ended in a reminder to focus on today, because that’s what is important now. God has the future under control. Yeah I have some strong suggestions I’d like to pass on, but He’s got some of His own, and He knows much better than I do. I’m ok with that. So whether its school, sports, girls, career, etc. I have to take a step back and remember that I’m not in control, as much as I do or as hard as I try to be, I’m not. Thank goodness, I would severely screw things up! Again sorry for the random jumping all over the place, hopefully you got something out of this, if you want to hear more, “you have my contact information.”
God Bless
Austin
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Love Story
Hey everyone, I am currently reading a book entitled "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. If you have the opportunity, I would HIGHLY recommend it to you. It was actually given to me as a gift by a friend of mine named Tim who wrote on the inside a little note, part of that note said, "Hope this book makes you pursue God like never before." WOW! How amazing that a gift that was given to me almost a full year ago, that I am not picking up and reading, at a time in my life where I am challenging myself to pursue God "like never before"! If that isn't the best example of God's plan and his pursue in everyone and everything he brings into our lives, I don't know what is.
Today I want to write about something that has hit my heart recently that I know I need to share because of the humility and ashamed state it has brought me to with my walk. Don't take what I am about to say lightly because I have taken it lightly for FAR too long.
One of the basic principles we are taught from early on in Sunday school is that God loves us, there's a song about it that we all know, "Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Great, sounds good to me, I believe it. Up until recently I didn't seriously think about what that meant or how deep that basic, elementary to Christianity idea actually was. Me, God loves me. That has now become one of the stupidest things I have ever heard! Not because I don't believe it, not because I don't want His love, not because the creator of the universe loves such a disgusting, imperfect, sinner. Rather its stupid because of the things I just mentioned, and the things on the list that I left of that wouldn't "qualify" me for His love. Here is the kicker, Francis Chan puts it as simple as I can think, he says, " God doesn't need us but still wants us, yet we desperately need God but most of the time don't want Him. Think about that....
If that didn't just blow your mind like it does mine each and every time I think about it, you need to seriously analyze your life, or I guess you are perfect.
I live my life by what I believe are some good morals, strong faith, and public relationship with Christ, yet I can think of so many instances that I have thought that I don't "need" God. I can do it on my own, I'm 20 years old, I have it under control. The scary thing is, no age, life experience, education, preparation, or studies conducted will EVER allow anyone to say that they don't need God. If you don't need God, then you must live a life with no worries, stresses, problems, EVER! If that is the case, you should probably be in a position higher than the President right now. Hoping we can all agree that none of our lives are that, lets move on, I'm getting off subject.
Since this topic has been in my head, I can't get one saying out of my head that my dad has told me since I was able to understand what it meant, even before then probably.
"Actions speak louder than words"
Up until now, I haven't related that to this topic, but think about it for a minute. We desperately need God, but we don't want Him, for whatever reason. I desperately need God, yet at times, I don't put Him at the center of what I am doing. He should be on the front of my mind in everything I do, when I wake up till the time I fall asleep because if I go out into the world and I say that I love God I better live it, because actions speak louder than words. Its called hypocrisy if that isn't what I do, because I condemn and try to rid my life of sin, yet I walk out into a world full of sin every day. If I walk out into this world and say I love Jesus but I don't act like I do, if my actions don't scream to God being glorified in anything and everything I am doing, then I have failed. We've all sinned and fallen short, I know. But does that mean we don't strive to not fall short, does that mean we just settle for "ok", for mediocrity, for "good enough"? I've had to answer that question, and its going to be hard to back up my answer, but I'm glad. I'm ready for the challenge because I desperately need a God who desperately wants me. In a world where feeling loved by someone has so much emphasis, I have the greatest love known to man, and that love is so overflowing that I can't wait to take it into this world.
I'll leave you with this...
Jesus died on the cross for our sins, everyones, not just the select few who go to church, read their Bible, pray, He died for every single person on this earth so that we may have a shot to spend eternity with Him. He died for you and me. That's love. God tells us He loves us over and over and over again, and he backs it up. His actions speak louder than His words, the cross is just one example
Much love
Today I want to write about something that has hit my heart recently that I know I need to share because of the humility and ashamed state it has brought me to with my walk. Don't take what I am about to say lightly because I have taken it lightly for FAR too long.
One of the basic principles we are taught from early on in Sunday school is that God loves us, there's a song about it that we all know, "Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Great, sounds good to me, I believe it. Up until recently I didn't seriously think about what that meant or how deep that basic, elementary to Christianity idea actually was. Me, God loves me. That has now become one of the stupidest things I have ever heard! Not because I don't believe it, not because I don't want His love, not because the creator of the universe loves such a disgusting, imperfect, sinner. Rather its stupid because of the things I just mentioned, and the things on the list that I left of that wouldn't "qualify" me for His love. Here is the kicker, Francis Chan puts it as simple as I can think, he says, " God doesn't need us but still wants us, yet we desperately need God but most of the time don't want Him. Think about that....
If that didn't just blow your mind like it does mine each and every time I think about it, you need to seriously analyze your life, or I guess you are perfect.
I live my life by what I believe are some good morals, strong faith, and public relationship with Christ, yet I can think of so many instances that I have thought that I don't "need" God. I can do it on my own, I'm 20 years old, I have it under control. The scary thing is, no age, life experience, education, preparation, or studies conducted will EVER allow anyone to say that they don't need God. If you don't need God, then you must live a life with no worries, stresses, problems, EVER! If that is the case, you should probably be in a position higher than the President right now. Hoping we can all agree that none of our lives are that, lets move on, I'm getting off subject.
Since this topic has been in my head, I can't get one saying out of my head that my dad has told me since I was able to understand what it meant, even before then probably.
"Actions speak louder than words"
Up until now, I haven't related that to this topic, but think about it for a minute. We desperately need God, but we don't want Him, for whatever reason. I desperately need God, yet at times, I don't put Him at the center of what I am doing. He should be on the front of my mind in everything I do, when I wake up till the time I fall asleep because if I go out into the world and I say that I love God I better live it, because actions speak louder than words. Its called hypocrisy if that isn't what I do, because I condemn and try to rid my life of sin, yet I walk out into a world full of sin every day. If I walk out into this world and say I love Jesus but I don't act like I do, if my actions don't scream to God being glorified in anything and everything I am doing, then I have failed. We've all sinned and fallen short, I know. But does that mean we don't strive to not fall short, does that mean we just settle for "ok", for mediocrity, for "good enough"? I've had to answer that question, and its going to be hard to back up my answer, but I'm glad. I'm ready for the challenge because I desperately need a God who desperately wants me. In a world where feeling loved by someone has so much emphasis, I have the greatest love known to man, and that love is so overflowing that I can't wait to take it into this world.
I'll leave you with this...
Jesus died on the cross for our sins, everyones, not just the select few who go to church, read their Bible, pray, He died for every single person on this earth so that we may have a shot to spend eternity with Him. He died for you and me. That's love. God tells us He loves us over and over and over again, and he backs it up. His actions speak louder than His words, the cross is just one example
Much love
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Never Realized This
Hey everyone, hope you guys are doing well and that life is blessing you in many ways. I hope that through reading this blog you are inspired to pursue Christ harder and deeper every day and if nothing else, you can just read it and maybe have a thought spark. It's not my goal to change lives through writing a blog, thats up to God because our relationships with Him are personal and only you can determine what you want that relationship to look like. I am lucky, I was born and raised with Christ at the center of my life, thats how I was taught, showed, and reminded daily to live my life. It wasn't shoved down my throat but it was put in front of me to make a choice, and at an early age I did. I had a relationship with Christ that I would consider pretty good, not too many worries or struggles, I didn't do bad things, I obeyed my parents, tried to sin as little as possible, and went to church, YL, church camps, Bible studies. Don't get me wrong, I didn't go to these things because I felt like it was the right thing to do because I was a Christian, I truly wanted to go to these things and have a relationship with God, and I did. Junior year created the first bump in my faith I think, and I didn't realize it at the time. I tore my shoulder at a baseball recruiting camp Christmas break when I was 16 years old. Since then my sports world was flipped upside down it seems, because from then on out the struggle seemed that much harder in many ways. Growing up I was small, I was young, and I wasn't as talented as other kids. This created a situation where I was playing a year up in every sport, I was the smallest on every team, and I had to work extra hard to even keep up with everyone else. I didn't mind it, still don't, I know God meant for it to be that way for me even though some times I heckle my parents for putting me at a disadvantage.
Since that injury junior year I have battled through a shoulder surgery, torn tissue in my knees, fractured back, another shoulder injury, concussions, the list goes on and on and don't feel sorry for me, really. Injuries happen to everyone, I know that, my body just has never been ready to handle the load that I have put on it since I was 16 and that is my own doing, so I now embrace that what happens is on my shoulders when it comes to keeping myself healthy.
Yet since that injury junior year, my relationship with Christ was changed, and not in a good way. Since then, through injuries, depth chart battles, and all of the fun that comes with competing at a high level of competition for a starting spot, I have questioned a lot of things. I'm ashamed to say that I questioned where God has been in the midst of that, I questioned whether He knew what He was doing or not. More often than not, I got frustrated with what was going on in my life and where I was supposed to find God in the midst of this frustration. Why would an almighty, perfect, compassionate God, put me through so much crap? I have spent numerous hours praying for answers, praying that He would reveal to me why He was allowing these things to happen to me. Usually it was along these lines, "God, I want to believe that you are doing something greater than what I see because you promise you have plans for me that perfect, but if that's the case, why do I have to suffer like this. Why do I have to be hurt to see your desires, why can't you just show them to me without the pain and frustration, why do I have to go through this again, I thought this was over." That is about word for word my plea to God to show me why!
This last Sunday in church a man talked over the book of Job. Job is a man who loves and fears God with all he had. God allowed Satan to test Job's faith in God, and Satan did, numerous times, yet Job NEVER let the Devil win. When nothing made sense to Job he still praised God and trusted that God would take care of him. Pretty awesome right? I thought so too, but just when I thought I knew the story of Job, this man took it step further. God doesn't owe us answers for what is going on in our lives, he doesnt. That hit me hard in church Sunday as I was crying during the last song of worship.
I have prayed so many times, plead with God to give me answers, to show me why, to do this or that so that I could have rest in what He was doing in my life. How pathetic am I! How sad is that! I have been questioning and demanding answers to a God who promised me a great life according to His purpose?! What a wretch am i, that i would think that the God of the universe should have to explain to me His plans. I was humbled, and I hope you are too, whoever is reading this, I hope that you realized like I have, that God doesn't owe us answers or explanations, because He already promised us a life greater than we can imagine. So thank you God, for watching out for me, for protecting me, even when I feel like you aren't protecting me you are right by my side, carrying me through the hard times and the good.
God Bless,
Austin
If you have prayer requests, please let me know how I can be praying for you, much love
Since that injury junior year I have battled through a shoulder surgery, torn tissue in my knees, fractured back, another shoulder injury, concussions, the list goes on and on and don't feel sorry for me, really. Injuries happen to everyone, I know that, my body just has never been ready to handle the load that I have put on it since I was 16 and that is my own doing, so I now embrace that what happens is on my shoulders when it comes to keeping myself healthy.
Yet since that injury junior year, my relationship with Christ was changed, and not in a good way. Since then, through injuries, depth chart battles, and all of the fun that comes with competing at a high level of competition for a starting spot, I have questioned a lot of things. I'm ashamed to say that I questioned where God has been in the midst of that, I questioned whether He knew what He was doing or not. More often than not, I got frustrated with what was going on in my life and where I was supposed to find God in the midst of this frustration. Why would an almighty, perfect, compassionate God, put me through so much crap? I have spent numerous hours praying for answers, praying that He would reveal to me why He was allowing these things to happen to me. Usually it was along these lines, "God, I want to believe that you are doing something greater than what I see because you promise you have plans for me that perfect, but if that's the case, why do I have to suffer like this. Why do I have to be hurt to see your desires, why can't you just show them to me without the pain and frustration, why do I have to go through this again, I thought this was over." That is about word for word my plea to God to show me why!
This last Sunday in church a man talked over the book of Job. Job is a man who loves and fears God with all he had. God allowed Satan to test Job's faith in God, and Satan did, numerous times, yet Job NEVER let the Devil win. When nothing made sense to Job he still praised God and trusted that God would take care of him. Pretty awesome right? I thought so too, but just when I thought I knew the story of Job, this man took it step further. God doesn't owe us answers for what is going on in our lives, he doesnt. That hit me hard in church Sunday as I was crying during the last song of worship.
I have prayed so many times, plead with God to give me answers, to show me why, to do this or that so that I could have rest in what He was doing in my life. How pathetic am I! How sad is that! I have been questioning and demanding answers to a God who promised me a great life according to His purpose?! What a wretch am i, that i would think that the God of the universe should have to explain to me His plans. I was humbled, and I hope you are too, whoever is reading this, I hope that you realized like I have, that God doesn't owe us answers or explanations, because He already promised us a life greater than we can imagine. So thank you God, for watching out for me, for protecting me, even when I feel like you aren't protecting me you are right by my side, carrying me through the hard times and the good.
God Bless,
Austin
If you have prayer requests, please let me know how I can be praying for you, much love
Friday, June 25, 2010
Missed Opportunities
This post was partially inspired by the movie Toy Story 3 which I had the chance to go see with my family tonight. Not only did I get the chance to spend nearly 5 hours with just my amazing family, but I learned a HUGE lesson that I take for granted so often and I want to share some of my thoughts.
How many times do you hear or even say, I wish I could do that again, I would have done that differently if I could go back, I wish I had done this, I'd do it differently if I had the chance, etc? I feel like even if it is not verbalized, these thoughts of wishing for a second chance at something are everywhere in our lives. I say it in my head numerous times a day! So many times throughout the day I have the OPPORTUNITY to do something and it doesn't happen, sometimes I'm "too busy" "tired" "distracted" or flat out scared of taking a chance and seeing what happens. OR what has become my favorite excuse if you will is this, "I'll do it tomorrow." James 4:13-17 says, " Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what till happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.
Ok you may be wondering after you read that how in the world that applies to opportunities, quick explanation, then I'll wrap up to keep it short for those of you reading. So many times opportunities come up and we bypass them for the reasons I stated, most often, I'll do it tomorrow or later. We aren't promised tomorrow! Sad, yes, depressing, maybe, but how do we not look at that and say, I need to stop walking on eggshells and live such a bold and courageous life so that if I am not here tomorrow, the last day I lived was to the fullest extent that God intended?! It is blowing my mind that I live so timid and afraid to take opportunities, to step out of my comfort zone, to put my fears behind me, and just go for it. "God works for the good of those who love Him"! So why am I so scared to seize opportunities, or at least pursue them?! How selfish am I?
How selfish are we? Tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow?! Who says that we will have that opportunity tomorrow, or even an hour later?! He controls our fate, He knows what He is doing in our lives, and in that we should find comfort. In that, I should rest in stepping out of the boat and knowing I'll be more than fine. So what about you? Missed any opportunities lately? Had situations appear in your life that you may be timid about, walking on eggshells hoping for the best but expecting the worst? Me too, but we aren't alone, God is right there next to us, carrying us through it all, so why can't we trust that He will provide and work in our lives through opportunities that may seem scary or impossible. "All things are possible with Christ"
Much love
Prov. 3:5-6
How many times do you hear or even say, I wish I could do that again, I would have done that differently if I could go back, I wish I had done this, I'd do it differently if I had the chance, etc? I feel like even if it is not verbalized, these thoughts of wishing for a second chance at something are everywhere in our lives. I say it in my head numerous times a day! So many times throughout the day I have the OPPORTUNITY to do something and it doesn't happen, sometimes I'm "too busy" "tired" "distracted" or flat out scared of taking a chance and seeing what happens. OR what has become my favorite excuse if you will is this, "I'll do it tomorrow." James 4:13-17 says, " Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what till happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.
Ok you may be wondering after you read that how in the world that applies to opportunities, quick explanation, then I'll wrap up to keep it short for those of you reading. So many times opportunities come up and we bypass them for the reasons I stated, most often, I'll do it tomorrow or later. We aren't promised tomorrow! Sad, yes, depressing, maybe, but how do we not look at that and say, I need to stop walking on eggshells and live such a bold and courageous life so that if I am not here tomorrow, the last day I lived was to the fullest extent that God intended?! It is blowing my mind that I live so timid and afraid to take opportunities, to step out of my comfort zone, to put my fears behind me, and just go for it. "God works for the good of those who love Him"! So why am I so scared to seize opportunities, or at least pursue them?! How selfish am I?
How selfish are we? Tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow?! Who says that we will have that opportunity tomorrow, or even an hour later?! He controls our fate, He knows what He is doing in our lives, and in that we should find comfort. In that, I should rest in stepping out of the boat and knowing I'll be more than fine. So what about you? Missed any opportunities lately? Had situations appear in your life that you may be timid about, walking on eggshells hoping for the best but expecting the worst? Me too, but we aren't alone, God is right there next to us, carrying us through it all, so why can't we trust that He will provide and work in our lives through opportunities that may seem scary or impossible. "All things are possible with Christ"
Much love
Prov. 3:5-6
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Father's Day
Today is a great day, we get to celebrate the men in our lives that have raised us! I am especially thankful for my dad because he goes through so much just to makes sure that his family is provided for and that his clients needs are met. Its funny the things that I have picked up from my dad over the years, most of which he knows, but some of which he doesn't. I hope and encourage that everyone would take some time today and think about their dad's (and parents in general), have a piece of paper with you if it will help to write down your thoughts. But truly take a minute to think about the things he does for you, your family, others. Chances are you will be like me, overwhelmed at how much my father devotes himself to others. I can't help but think that he either gets some sick pleasure out of seeing others happy, his family in general, or, it was instilled in him growing up to care more about others than himself. Whichever the case it may be, words cannot express how grateful I am to my father for what he has done, he has raised me with strong values and morals that I only hope I will be able to pass on someday. I'm fearful of the thought of having a son and not raising him as well as I feel my parents have raised my brothers and I, we aren't perfect, but our parents did EVERYTHING in their power to make us into as good of people as we could become. I want to switch gears shortly and just talk about something that was in church today. I attend Desert Springs and today we discussed an overview of Luke, a book devoted to Jesus' life and the works He did. After service driving home I knew that today was father's day and we are to be celebrating our dad's, but I was sidetracked as I thought about this. I was distracted because we ALL share a father, the ultimate father, the beginning and the end, the almighty, forgiver, healer, the list goes on but I was blown away that while we are celebrating our earthly fathers, I (maybe others) forget about our ultimate father in heaven. The King of the universe calls us his children! Us, you and I, everyone! God's son Jesus was perfect, in every way, without a question, perfect. And God sacrificed his son for me, a wretched man who walks in sin day in and day out. Yet from the beginning God knew that He would do this, that he would save a world full of sinners, believers and unbelievers, hypocrites and haters, unclean and unjust people such as me. I think I figured out why my dad is the way he is, why he gives so much to other people and thinks about others before even pursuing his needs and desires..... Its because my dad has devoted his life to believe and follow THE father, he decides to die to himself and follow Christ as it says in Matthew 16:24-25. I am so lucky to have such an example right in front of me, love you dad
God Bless
AC
God Bless
AC
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Whose far away?
The last few nights I have needed to post this and I am just now getting around to it, I apologize to anyone reading this who may have been looking for another blog.
I've had a different vision the last few days since I have really tried to bear down and focus on bettering my relationship with Christ and seeing where He would lead me. Its a tough process because I find myself getting caught up in material, worldy, things instead of what God wants to be doing in my life. Recently I have been listening to a lot of "Far Away" by Lecrae. It started out as just a song to praise God with while I was working out or running but once I started ACTUALLY listening I realized that Lecrae is saying that so many times God seems so far away to us but He's not!
I tried to apply this to my life as I was listening to it on repeat for about an hour and fifteen minutes the other day in the gym and I kept thinking of times where I feel like God isn't by my side, I was quickly disgusted with myself. I thought of plenty of times where something was going on in my life that I felt like He wasn't there pulling me through it, by my side, with me, etc. Numerous times where I didn't put my faith that He was who He says He is. The more I thought about why this was, I came to this conclusion. It isn't that God is "far away" because He promises He will never desert us, it is US who are "far away" from God. WE are the ones that separate ourselves from Him, I do it every day. I put so much focus into things that aren't God centered and that is what separates me from Him all the time. At YL Work Week earlier this summer we were challenged to think about God every 15 minutes, I STILL have not been able to do it for a full day, not even half the day probably. Why is it so hard for me to think about the creator of the universe, who knows exactly what He wants for my life every 15 minutes?! Seems ridiculous I know, that I have such a hard time with something so simple as thinking about 1 thing for just a few seconds. Just a new challenge that I could really use and maybe will just continue to further this falling in love process with God. Much love everyone
I've had a different vision the last few days since I have really tried to bear down and focus on bettering my relationship with Christ and seeing where He would lead me. Its a tough process because I find myself getting caught up in material, worldy, things instead of what God wants to be doing in my life. Recently I have been listening to a lot of "Far Away" by Lecrae. It started out as just a song to praise God with while I was working out or running but once I started ACTUALLY listening I realized that Lecrae is saying that so many times God seems so far away to us but He's not!
I tried to apply this to my life as I was listening to it on repeat for about an hour and fifteen minutes the other day in the gym and I kept thinking of times where I feel like God isn't by my side, I was quickly disgusted with myself. I thought of plenty of times where something was going on in my life that I felt like He wasn't there pulling me through it, by my side, with me, etc. Numerous times where I didn't put my faith that He was who He says He is. The more I thought about why this was, I came to this conclusion. It isn't that God is "far away" because He promises He will never desert us, it is US who are "far away" from God. WE are the ones that separate ourselves from Him, I do it every day. I put so much focus into things that aren't God centered and that is what separates me from Him all the time. At YL Work Week earlier this summer we were challenged to think about God every 15 minutes, I STILL have not been able to do it for a full day, not even half the day probably. Why is it so hard for me to think about the creator of the universe, who knows exactly what He wants for my life every 15 minutes?! Seems ridiculous I know, that I have such a hard time with something so simple as thinking about 1 thing for just a few seconds. Just a new challenge that I could really use and maybe will just continue to further this falling in love process with God. Much love everyone
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
What started the "Start of Something New)
Since I came back home from college I have felt my relationship with God dwindling. Not that I wasn't praying, reading my Bible, going to church, and that stuff. But my heart wasn't IN it, I wasn't putting the effort, time, energy, anything, into pursuing a deeper relationship with God. I knew it was happening for some time now but I didn't do anything about it. Finally tonight, June 15, 2010 I decided to go into my backyard at 11pm to read and pray. I ended up realizing that writing down these thoughts, opinions, and happenings would be a great way to share with people what is going on in my life. Someone once told me that who you are in private is who you are in public. So I am making this a way that I will be public about my private relationship with Christ.
Like I said earlier there were hints that God was placing in my life that I was lacking in my pursuit of an intimate relationship with Him but the one that stands out was the most recent. A man by the name of Brad said something to me that I will never forget. Brad's son plays baseball with my youngest brother and we have known their family for years. He is the most outright, outspoken, Christian man I have ever met. He wears Christian T-Shirts every time I have ever seen him; at the little league, out to eat, today when I saw him at my workplace. But beyond that, he is often seen pulling a gigantic wood cross on public streets in what is similar to a heavy duty Red Ryder Wagons. About a week ago he approached me at a little league game, this wasn't out of the ordinary, we usually have great conversation and I love getting the opportunity to talk to him because he is so filled with joy that you can't help but want to talk to him. He sat down on the bleachers and asked me what I was majoring, when I finished telling him he told me that whatever I end up majoring in, that if I ever want to do ministry that he wants me to work along side him at his church. I was blown away, I was honored, I was flattered, but most of all I was humbled. It was at that moment that I knew that he sees something in me that I am not fully living out. A couple days later I was passing him at yet another little league game and he asked me how I was doing and I gave the most generic answer "good and you?" what he responded with is what I will NEVER forget, "BETTER THAN I DESERVE" Think about that for a minute, I have been for the past couple days, I'm a sinner, who deserves death! Yet God saved me from that punishment and gave me the chance to live with him for all eternity. When I showed up for work today Brad was there, he had no idea I worked there, and we had a great conversation. I know God put Brad in that store today to finally, fully, open my eyes to what He is telling me. I love God with all my heart and I have no question about where I put my faith and I think that if you ask almost anyone they will tell you the same thing. Yet that means nothing, it means nothing if I am not pursuing more, every single day, in every aspect of my life. My faith means nothing if I am not so filled with Christ that I am overflowing to a point that others around me know that something is different about my life, that I have something special, because that is what a relationship with Christ is, special, personal, meaningful, foundational, and everlasting. I pray that from now on, I live a life that would be so pleasing to God that He would use me in ways that I never thought possible. Much Love
Austin
Like I said earlier there were hints that God was placing in my life that I was lacking in my pursuit of an intimate relationship with Him but the one that stands out was the most recent. A man by the name of Brad said something to me that I will never forget. Brad's son plays baseball with my youngest brother and we have known their family for years. He is the most outright, outspoken, Christian man I have ever met. He wears Christian T-Shirts every time I have ever seen him; at the little league, out to eat, today when I saw him at my workplace. But beyond that, he is often seen pulling a gigantic wood cross on public streets in what is similar to a heavy duty Red Ryder Wagons. About a week ago he approached me at a little league game, this wasn't out of the ordinary, we usually have great conversation and I love getting the opportunity to talk to him because he is so filled with joy that you can't help but want to talk to him. He sat down on the bleachers and asked me what I was majoring, when I finished telling him he told me that whatever I end up majoring in, that if I ever want to do ministry that he wants me to work along side him at his church. I was blown away, I was honored, I was flattered, but most of all I was humbled. It was at that moment that I knew that he sees something in me that I am not fully living out. A couple days later I was passing him at yet another little league game and he asked me how I was doing and I gave the most generic answer "good and you?" what he responded with is what I will NEVER forget, "BETTER THAN I DESERVE" Think about that for a minute, I have been for the past couple days, I'm a sinner, who deserves death! Yet God saved me from that punishment and gave me the chance to live with him for all eternity. When I showed up for work today Brad was there, he had no idea I worked there, and we had a great conversation. I know God put Brad in that store today to finally, fully, open my eyes to what He is telling me. I love God with all my heart and I have no question about where I put my faith and I think that if you ask almost anyone they will tell you the same thing. Yet that means nothing, it means nothing if I am not pursuing more, every single day, in every aspect of my life. My faith means nothing if I am not so filled with Christ that I am overflowing to a point that others around me know that something is different about my life, that I have something special, because that is what a relationship with Christ is, special, personal, meaningful, foundational, and everlasting. I pray that from now on, I live a life that would be so pleasing to God that He would use me in ways that I never thought possible. Much Love
Austin
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)